The journey to London was eventful. I was accompanied by my Lady in Waiting Louisa Duchess of Buccleuch. Louisa is not inclined to maritime excursions and was copiously sick on the crossing to Gosport.
However once upon the royal train she recovered her composure and entertained me throughout the journey by singing the most delightful little ditties. She is of course completely mad.
Upon arrival in London we hastened to Garrards, my favourite purveyor of very expensive and sparkling trinkets. After parting with a considerable amount of 'dosh', as I believe you now refer to money, I left the establishment with several new tiaras, brooches and other delightful accoutrements.
Whilst walking to our carriage a footpad attempted to snatch my bag of goodies, fortunately Louisa was still feeling queasy and managed to vomit upon him, this caused sufficient distraction for several passers by to pummel him into a state of unconsciousness.
Whilst at Garrards I was distressed to learn that on occasions gaudily dressed young women purchase items there. Apparently they are the wives of men who play a game called soccer, I did hear that the husbands of these young women earn £100,000 each week for kicking a ball around. This is thought impressive?. I earn £100,000 each week for doing absolutely nothing, a far superior position to be in I think.
I have to go now as a representative of the East Cowes Fenian Association has just delivered a letter of complaint regarding the inequalities of contemporary society. What does he expect me to do about it?. Stupid man.
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