H.R.H. Victoria

Oh dear me!. Mr. Bell never fails to entertain!. This time he has surpassed himself, his latest 'invention' the 'telephone' is a thing of the most wondrous inconsequence.

In order to demonstrate his 'telephone' Mr. Bell brought with him his wife Mabel, who is as deaf as a post. If you intend to demonstrate a hearing device I would not have thought it propitious to employ the assistance of a deaf person, regardless of their nuptial kinship.

Mr. Bell's demonstration was held in the Council Room, he sat at one end and she at the other, some 30 feet away. Between them ran a wire connected at each end to a box, to each box was attached some form of ear trumpet, but much smaller ones than are customary. Mr. Bell turned a handle and cranked up his box, he then spoke into his ear trumpet and dear Mabel at the other end of the room held hers to her ear. After looking bemused for a minute or so she suddenly shrieked and dropped her ear trumpet. Mr. Bell was ecstatic, proclaiming his demonstration an unqualified success.

I did not want to tell him but the cause of Mabel's outburst was not occasioned by her being able to hear whatever he had said, but was due to her having been bitten on the ankle by one of Beatrice's gerbils.

Mr. Bell told me that he envisages a time when wires will criss-cross the country suspended between tall poles and that people will be able to talk to each other along these wires. He is of course completely mad.

I have to go now as some Fenians are dragging a cannon across the lawn. Stupid Fenians.