H.R.H. Victoria

Oh dear me!. Mr. Bell never fails to entertain!. This time he has surpassed himself, his latest 'invention' the 'telephone' is a thing of the most wondrous inconsequence.

In order to demonstrate his 'telephone' Mr. Bell brought with him his wife Mabel, who is as deaf as a post. If you intend to demonstrate a hearing device I would not have thought it propitious to employ the assistance of a deaf person, regardless of their nuptial kinship.

Mr. Bell's demonstration was held in the Council Room, he sat at one end and she at the other, some 30 feet away. Between them ran a wire connected at each end to a box, to each box was attached some form of ear trumpet, but much smaller ones than are customary. Mr. Bell turned a handle and cranked up his box, he then spoke into his ear trumpet and dear Mabel at the other end of the room held hers to her ear. After looking bemused for a minute or so she suddenly shrieked and dropped her ear trumpet. Mr. Bell was ecstatic, proclaiming his demonstration an unqualified success.

I did not want to tell him but the cause of Mabel's outburst was not occasioned by her being able to hear whatever he had said, but was due to her having been bitten on the ankle by one of Beatrice's gerbils.

Mr. Bell told me that he envisages a time when wires will criss-cross the country suspended between tall poles and that people will be able to talk to each other along these wires. He is of course completely mad.

I have to go now as some Fenians are dragging a cannon across the lawn. Stupid Fenians.

H.R.H. Victoria

We are most pleased!. This evening we have received our first comment upon our blog. A kind young man from Portugal called Anastacio wrote to say that he enjoyed my musings, thank you Anastacio. I too like your blog, very nice pictures.

It grieves me to say this, but Mr. Bell was of course proved right in his assumption that one day people all over the country would be talking to each other using his 'telephone'. Sometimes we here in the afterlife fail to notice things, we get stuck in our own little world, well actually rather a big world, being as it is eternity.

So, in order to catch up with the latest developments concerning Mr. Bell's invention Albert did today purchase a 'mobile phone'. It is not, as its name would suggest, capable of independent movement, which is a pity as I would have liked to see it propel itself into the nearest lake.

This evening I received a 'text message' on this contraption which read: " r u up4it ROFLMAO". What language is this?.

I have to go now as I have just noticed a cannon pointing at my window. Stupid cannon.